On Kneeling for the Anthem — To my White Friends

As I returned to civilization after a weekend-long camping trip out of service range in Big Sur, I naturally checked my phone to catch up on all of the things I’d missed while away. What I wasn’t expecting to discover was that the “kneeling for the national anthem” saga was back and louder than ever.

At a rally in Alabama, Donald Trump lit a fuse for a social media bomb that exploded and reverberated across the country overnight. It was shocking to play catch up to see how everything unfolded and what reactions his words had sparked.

During the initial Colin Kaepernick controversy last year, I had numerous conversations with friends and shared my thoughts. Because I live in San Francisco, home of his (then) 49ers, yet grew up in the mainly conservative South, I tend to have many vocal friends on both sides of nearly every social issue.

Initially, when Kaepernick first took a knee, the purpose was to highlight racial justice and equality in America. Almost instantly, however, the main conversation topic became centered around questioning the appropriateness of taking a knee during the national anthem as a form of protest. Now, seemingly, the main point of contention is whether players should be punished (or even fired) for taking a knee or otherwise refraining from standing at attention during the Star Spangled Banner.

I’ve seen hot takes online from all different types of people arguing various stances: White veterans supporting, Black athletes arguing against it, coaches, owners and regular Joe’s all casting opinions on one side or the other. My intention is not to offer up another opinion on the issue but to ask my fellow White People to simply pause and consider the underlying emotions that underpin it all.

If you can’t find any reason why Black People might want use the national anthem to protest a historical disadvantage they’ve had since the dawn of our nation, I don’t think you are earnestly trying. If you assume that anyone who would sit, kneel or otherwise demonstrate under the flag to which you salute is unpatriotic, ungrateful or unappreciative of America, I think you are being short sighted at best.

Black People have fought in every war in our country’s history on behalf of that flag and more importantly for our constitution and the rights it bestows on all of us. It was only that when they returned home from the battlefield they came back to a society that constantly reminded them that they were not fully equal to us. Whether it was the right to freedom, to vote, attend our schools, drink from the same water fountains and sit next to us at restaurants or simply live without the fear of lynching; for hundreds of years we showed that they were never fully human and equal to us.

You can’t simply detach all of this when considering why someone like Kaepernick would choose to demonstrate against another perceived slight against the black community in the form of police killings. Black People have always had to organize and fight for equity in our country — it has never been simply handed over. To call all who might choose to join him unpatriotic is simply untrue and intellectually dishonest. These people are as American as any of us and have every right to peacefully stand or kneel for what they believe, whether we agree or not.

Something I’ve learned over the years is that when you see a group of people upset over an issue that doesn’t affect you personally, the best thing you can do is listen and try to understand why that might be. Hold your opinions lightly and enter into genuine conversations with the other party with a desire to learn. Even if you don’t agree on all facets of an issue, you might find some truth or validity in what they are saying. You also might discover that you can begin to empathize with these people’s experiences and beliefs and become a better person in the process.

Growing up as a White male in a comfortable and mainly homogenous community, it has taken me a very long time to just begin the process of understanding what the minority experience is like in America. It has only been through challenging my beliefs, putting myself in uncomfortable positions and learning from those different from me that I have even started to better comprehend how disparate it can be. Before you hurl insults at the players and people involved in this form of protest, I hope that you would pause and try to do the same.